Friday, June 30, 2006

"I hate robot boys on automated loan consolidation lines!"

So today I awoke with a new hope of consolidating my student loans before Uncle Sam or whoever screws me even more into debt.

Yes, I know what you are thinking...isn't today the last day to lock in your low low interest rate of 3.5% after they raped you last July 1?

Well yes it is my friend...and yes I knew I had to do this since last summer when I spent entirely too long (about 6 hours) trying to do, only to hear from my banker auntie to just wait untill I'm totally done with school.

So I did, and here I am a year later...a college graduate with thousands of dollars of student loans and no job. (Well not officially...I am wanted to be on a certain team...and do a certain advertising/marketing job that I interviewed for last week...but I’m waiting to discuss salary and when I start)

Back to the story, so I started on my loan consolidation frenzy earlier this week only to get confused on the website and turn to the 'loan advisor' that is available 24 hours a day...

Loan Advisor my butt!

It's nothing but an automated robot boy! Who could not can not understand that my name is Danelle spelled d-a-n-e-l-l-e...not t-a-m-e-t-t or the other 200 ways he spelled it back to me...with me having no other option but to keep spelling out my name like a pissed off cheerleader.

This is the one time I wish my name were just Jill or something easy.

So we finally get passed the name spelling section and move along to something else that will enrage me.

Trying to talk to this robot boy is pointless and by this time I have tried to say operator like 130 times and he smartly responds...'it sounds like you would like to talk to an agent...but if you answer these short answers we can finish up.'


He calmly replies, ‘it sounds like you would like to talk to an agent...but if you answer these short answers we can finish up.'

I hit the 0 and the # about 146 times and keep yelling.


All right! Fine. I will finish trying to answer. I lie I make up answers left and right to get through to the end...

To find the dumb robot boy saying, 'Thank you applying to be approved. We will have an agent call you within 72 hours. For more information and to speed the application along check out our website.'


Yes, so here I am again filling out crap that I don't know the answers to. Who is my lender? Should be an easy question right? Right.

But, to find these simple answers is nothing but easy! I look on the .gov website that is the student loan database deal which should be the gospel truth for loans I would think. But there are no account numbers or loan key numbers ect on there.

So I turn to NelNets website find an AWESOME DISCOVERY...they think my lender is someone else! Great. All I just take their loan key number and put it in the damn forms.

Owe well... that is that I've decided. So I continue on the crappy consolidation road to find out that when you consolidate you wave your grace period away.

What the crap! Why? It's so not fair! Pay now or pay more later with a doubled interest rate I guess.

I HATE MY LIFE, I yell in frustration.

I then call UNO Fin Ad, my auntie banker and my mother.

UNO says: "Yep, that's what happens when you consolidate"

Auntie says: “That rate's still good."

Mom says: "It's ok honey you did the right thing."

I say: "I hate robot boys on automated loan consolidation lines!"

I better get that damn 3.5% rate locked in or I will do something very bad.

...And if you are a boy robot you better watch you back!

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