Friday, June 30, 2006

"I hate robot boys on automated loan consolidation lines!"

So today I awoke with a new hope of consolidating my student loans before Uncle Sam or whoever screws me even more into debt.

Yes, I know what you are thinking...isn't today the last day to lock in your low low interest rate of 3.5% after they raped you last July 1?

Well yes it is my friend...and yes I knew I had to do this since last summer when I spent entirely too long (about 6 hours) trying to do, only to hear from my banker auntie to just wait untill I'm totally done with school.

So I did, and here I am a year later...a college graduate with thousands of dollars of student loans and no job. (Well not officially...I am wanted to be on a certain team...and do a certain advertising/marketing job that I interviewed for last week...but I’m waiting to discuss salary and when I start)

Back to the story, so I started on my loan consolidation frenzy earlier this week only to get confused on the website and turn to the 'loan advisor' that is available 24 hours a day...

Loan Advisor my butt!

It's nothing but an automated robot boy! Who could not can not understand that my name is Danelle spelled d-a-n-e-l-l-e...not t-a-m-e-t-t or the other 200 ways he spelled it back to me...with me having no other option but to keep spelling out my name like a pissed off cheerleader.

This is the one time I wish my name were just Jill or something easy.

So we finally get passed the name spelling section and move along to something else that will enrage me.

Trying to talk to this robot boy is pointless and by this time I have tried to say operator like 130 times and he smartly responds...'it sounds like you would like to talk to an agent...but if you answer these short answers we can finish up.'


He calmly replies, ‘it sounds like you would like to talk to an agent...but if you answer these short answers we can finish up.'

I hit the 0 and the # about 146 times and keep yelling.


All right! Fine. I will finish trying to answer. I lie I make up answers left and right to get through to the end...

To find the dumb robot boy saying, 'Thank you applying to be approved. We will have an agent call you within 72 hours. For more information and to speed the application along check out our website.'


Yes, so here I am again filling out crap that I don't know the answers to. Who is my lender? Should be an easy question right? Right.

But, to find these simple answers is nothing but easy! I look on the .gov website that is the student loan database deal which should be the gospel truth for loans I would think. But there are no account numbers or loan key numbers ect on there.

So I turn to NelNets website find an AWESOME DISCOVERY...they think my lender is someone else! Great. All I just take their loan key number and put it in the damn forms.

Owe well... that is that I've decided. So I continue on the crappy consolidation road to find out that when you consolidate you wave your grace period away.

What the crap! Why? It's so not fair! Pay now or pay more later with a doubled interest rate I guess.

I HATE MY LIFE, I yell in frustration.

I then call UNO Fin Ad, my auntie banker and my mother.

UNO says: "Yep, that's what happens when you consolidate"

Auntie says: “That rate's still good."

Mom says: "It's ok honey you did the right thing."

I say: "I hate robot boys on automated loan consolidation lines!"

I better get that damn 3.5% rate locked in or I will do something very bad.

...And if you are a boy robot you better watch you back!

Friday, June 23, 2006

Somewhere under the rainbow...

...You will find my pot of gold.
Mr. Joel Schlegelmilch.
No middle name.
His dad thought the last name was long enough.
We have decided if he were to have a middle name it would be Leon.
Leon is a good name.
So back to my treasure.

Mr. Joel Schlegelmilch.
The sweetest boy, a girl who loves candy, could find.
How could I be so lucky to find someone who loves so many of the things I love?
Wes Anderson films.
Rock and Roll.
Pizza with Thousand Island Dressing.
Al Green.
Snack Packs.
Camping at Rock and Roll Festivals.
Lemon Lime Gatorade.
Looking at the stars.
Cruising around town to smooth jazz.
The list really goes on and on.

The point being I love him and he loves me.
And we found each other because we were made to love each other.
He is my treasure.
Mr. Joel Schlegelmilch is my pot of gold.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

... Like a child.

Meet Gavin.
Gavin is the son of a fellow Lancome Lady.
I watched him a lot last summer.
This summer he has moved on to Meg.
My little sister.
But I had the pleasure of hanging out with him yesterday.
We sang songs on microphones and played the keyboard.
We danced to "I like to move it, move it"
We watched Madagascar.
There is nothing better then the giggle of little Gavin.
I wish we could all be little again.
If it was just for a day, think of how cool it would be.
I would wear my swimming suit with pink cowgirl boots all day.
I predict Joel would wear a Batman cape and cowboy boots...cause I would make him wear them to match mine.
We would eat candy and take naps in the afternoon.
I would make a tent out of some blankets.
Then we would play grocery store and take all the food out of the cabinets.
And then we would have snacks and play outside.
We would run threw the sprinklers and slip and slide.
Then we would catch lighting bugs.
That would be fun.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Take me out to the ball game...

...Take me out to the crowd. Buy me $4 peanuts and $5 curly fries...I don't care if the both make me fat...

...For its root root root for the home team, if they win I don't care.

...Just put us on ESPN Sportscenter with 3000 boys... We will just scream and make a scene.

...One, two, three strikes your out!

And on to the next ball game.

-Thanks Stephanie Ann Horak and CWS for a great day/ night on third base line.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Nacho Nacho Man..

So after yet another long and hot day spent working in the Cingular tent at the CWS, Mr. Joel took me on a good old fashion date. There were fried pickles, sangria, salmon, rainbows and nacho...Nacho Libre that is.

This movie has re-ignited my love for not only Jack Black but Jared and Jerusha Hess, who made this movie but also did Napoleon Dynamite-which is one of the greatest movies ever made...I dare to say in the whole galaxy.

I loved everything about this movie...except the fact that everyone else in the theater...except Mr. Joel of course, was super lame and didn't laugh except at oviously funny parts. Me and Mr. Joel laughed approximately every 1.3 seconds...which felt a little uncomfortable because we did this for approximately 1.7 hours.

Anyways...I loved my date on the town with Mr. Joel and I love nachos...and Nacho Libre and Steven.


Sunday, June 11, 2006

A Picture Share!

Go us?! A night off free drinks and karaoke. Can it get any better? Yes we are in iowa!

Thursday, June 08, 2006

A Picture Share! My first mobile neat.

This is me and miss penny lane petersen-schlegelmilch. you may ask why would one lil cat need such a long name? well it's kind of a funny story. see i wanted a kitten for quiet some time. i couldn't have one plain and simple when i lived in the dorms. so when i moved out and my roommates moved out on me and i was lonely mr joel schlegelmilch, my love, who claims he hates/is allergic to cats breaks down and buys me a kitten for valentines day. but not just any old kitten. a kitten i found online at the lavender hills animal shelter in bancroft nebraska. yes that sounds crazy i know but out of the hundreds of pets online i saw her lil face and had to have her. she was just too cute. so we arranged to get her to omaha and i got her. and the rest was history. but since me and joel aren't married and well she had to have a last name i decided to hyphenate it. here is us the day we met. it was a cold and rainy sunday night feb 12, 2005.

ps- every summer she never fails to bite and kill our pool floaty beds. boo, penny. boo.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We pillage, we plunder, we rifle, and loot,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot,
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We extort, we pilfer, we filch, and sack,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
Maraud and embezzle, and even high-jack,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We kindle and char, inflame and ignite,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We burn up the city, we're really a fright,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

We're rascals, scoundrels, villans, and knaves,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We're devils and black sheep, really bad eggs,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We're beggars and blighters, ne'er-do-well cads,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
Aye, but we're loved by our mommies and dads,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

My life unemployed...

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Being unemployed...

At first it was scary. I mean come on, I graduate leave for Europe two days later, spend the few dollars, pounds and euros I had. The thought of coming home and not having a job made me feel sick, but that's life.

I figured come on; I'm in Europe and having the time of my life...who needs a job or money. Maybe I can become a pirate for a living...

Anyways, I'm on the way home thinking I’m totally broke, but looking darn good in my new velour koi fish embroidered outfit, and I find $250 in US travelers checks hidden away in lost pocket in my Prada purse. Thank God! I then came home and find some more graduation money tucked away in cards... shoot a wedding reception and have just enough to cover June's bills.

My days then consist of getting over jet lag and searching frantically for jobs on every job search website ever created of during the morning. Then I call the girls (and Greg) and we all meet up and lay by the pool, soak up the rays and forget our worries...who needs a job we say.

Then the next day we go shopping and remind ourselves why we need jobs. "No job- no juicy" is our motto of the summer when it comes to shopping. So I pick things up that I adore...visualize ownership, try them on and promptly return them to their homes on the shelves where they will sit… until I get a job.

It's not like I'm not trying here. I seriously have applied for like 100 exaggeration. But, I guess most of them are not meant to be, because I am hearing nothing. I did get a few letters in the mail, regretting to inform me that although I am amazing, they went with someone else this time... all fine and dandy.

I do have some good leads… thanks to some good friends and will see where they lead...until then I will continue on my journey down the road of unemployment that leads to the pool and TJ Maxx.